you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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