And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
