I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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