It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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