I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
