Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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