Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
