I think I died a long time ago.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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