yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
