I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
