Already got asked if we're dating
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
