I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
