Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
