i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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