Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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