Who did Billy Mays play for?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
