hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i will never coherently bang her
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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