I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
