I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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