and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
