we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
