3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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