He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
