he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
