it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
