Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
