He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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