you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
