Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
