Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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