is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
