I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
