Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
