she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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