ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
