When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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