the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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