Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
