just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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