"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
