hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
