garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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