I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
