You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
