nut hugger
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
