Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
This is the high leading the old right now
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
