Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
