if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
