You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
