I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize