Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
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