just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
