I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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