dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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