He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
