Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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