Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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