I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
