When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
