trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
No...this little piggys going to the bar
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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